Regrets Series: The Best Part of Me
by My one true love
Summary: Regrets wasn't something that Puck was used to feeling. So why was he feeling now? A future angsty Puckleberry fic. First in a series of five oneshots.


**_A/N - _**_Hello all! I have a new set of Glee oneshots. This one was for my friend Manda's birthday. This is the first of five fics in a universe all there own. Lol. They're all future fics and the first one takes place after their high school graduation. Please read and review, let me know what you think! Rating is due to language. I want to thank my wonderful beta **written in dreams** for making sure that this was a good as possible._

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It was his own fault. Puck knew that but just couldn't help but be bitter. When he'd ended things, he'd never expected her to be the first to move on – or for her to do it so quickly. He'd thought that he meant more to her than that, but he'd obviously been wrong. But still he couldn't blame her – he was the one who held all of the blame.

He and Rachel had begun dating during their senior year after both had tried dating their supposed dream boy/girl and no surprise it hadn't worked out. But after graduation, Puck had decided that he wanted to have his options open, he didn't want to be tied down. Although he had never admitted it to her (or to himself), he had fallen in love with her and that had scared the living shit out of him. So he'd dumped her, left her on the side of the road (figuratively speaking of course) and had never looked back. After all, they would be heading their separate ways after the summer anyways and there was no way that Noah Puckerman would be tied down to a long-distance girlfriend when he started college.

But he'd had no idea then that things were not going to work out the way that either of them had planned. He had gotten a scholarship to OSU for football and one car accident later, his knee was blown and football was no longer an option. The only way he could afford college was with that scholarship so he'd had to make the decision to go to the local community college instead.

Rachel never made it to New York because the night before she was supposed to leave, she was mugged. Mugged in Lima, OH of all places. It was almost unheard of in their small town, but it happened. Not only had she been an emotional mess, but her attacker had smashed her vocal cords with the handle of the knife he held to her throat. She'd held out the hope that after surgery she'd be able to make it there by the winter semester, but although they were able to save her so that she could speak, there was no change of her ever singing like she had before. It had destroyed her.

As much as Puck would like to say that he was there for her in her time of need, he'd been too lost in his own drama. It was no wonder that she turned to Finn. After all, he was the one that she'd always wanted anyways, right?

Damn it, he sounded like a whiny little girl and that pissed him off to no end. He shouldn't give a shit about who she was dating. She meant nothing to him, right?

"Puck!" Finn's hand came down on his arm, jolting him from his thoughts.

"Fuck, dude, give me a heart attack why don't you?"

"Well, if you'd pay attention, Noah, you'd see that it was your turn." Rachel wouldn't quite meet his eyes as she waved at the pool table.

Neither one of them could stand to be around the other - it was too hard. But because of Finn, they did it. They hung out as if senior year had never happened, as if they'd never happened. And it burned him that they had to act that way; that they had to pretend what they'd had hadn't been real.

But then it all came back to the fact that he had no one to blame but himself. He took his shot, completely missing because his attention was drawn to the couple who were locked in a kiss (that was way too damn long for public).

Fuck. He wanted to be happy for her because she truly did seem to be. Whenever she didn't know he was watching, she would look at Finn as if he was her world, all that she needed to survive (and he remembered that look – that used to be the look she gave him). Damn it, there it was and it tore him apart.

She'd been the best part of him, always trying to help him become a better person. And now she was nothing to him but his best friend's girl. His chest was tight as he watched her cuddle up to Finn, a smile on her face and her eyes alight. That was a look reserved for a lover (damn it, he'd been her first – not Finn like they'd all expected – and she shouldn't look at anyone else like that).

So many emotions were running through him: jealousy, anger, sadness. It wasn't fucking fair. What right did she have to break his heart? And to not even realize that she was doing it, that just made it worse. He wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. He was breaking apart, falling to pieces but he couldn't show it. He had to suck it up and be a man.

He'd given her up and how could he be surprised that someone else scooped her up? It was dumb of him to think that she would wait for him. And as much as he wanted her he would make no move on her because he didn't think that she would be receptive (see, she had been good for him and his damn vocabulary) to the idea and because she was his best friend's girl. Two perfectly good reasons to not pine away for her, but damn if he could make himself stop.

"Hudson!" Puck yelled as he sat back down. "Stop trying to jump her and take a shot."

This time Rachel did look at him, glaring for all that she was worth. She really did hate him, and he couldn't blame her.


End file.
